When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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