Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
