Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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