yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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