i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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