Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
