ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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