did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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