dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
