the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
