So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
