But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
