Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
