Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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