Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize