my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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