but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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