We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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