everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
