I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
