Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Can I color on your dick again?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
sex in a hospital.. check
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
