And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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