Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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