so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
