go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
