Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
