Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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