i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
