he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
