Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
