don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
