whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
