Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sext me about skeletons
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