Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
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I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
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My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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