thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
