My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize