Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize