your parents love me but you hate me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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