i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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