my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
