fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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