nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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