Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This is the prime rib incident all over again
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
