She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
