Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
