so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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