yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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