Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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