I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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