thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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