is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
