I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
