Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
