Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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