no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize