Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
