So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
