I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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