She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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