Where did you get a picture of my penis
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
vagina is talking i cant
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
