How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
