Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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