Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
