Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
