It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
