it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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