ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
