I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
