and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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