what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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